Your partner has asked you to control your tone of voice in front of them and you felt they are attacking or not letting you be you. How many times has that happened to you? Controlling your tone of voice in your relationship is a very crucial decision.
TONE OF VOICE OFTEN MEANS MUCH MORE THAN WHAT YOU SAY
Dr. Gottman in his book, The Relationship Cure, reveals that in relationship communication, only 7% of that meaning comes from the spoken word, while 38% comes from the tone of voice in communication. What does this mean?
Words seeming neutral can be provoking if spoken with a sarcastic, demeaning or contemptuous tone of voice. A soft tone of voice is often interpreted as a lack of confidence – but too loud, and you’ll be seen as aggressive.
If you learn how to watch your tone, you will certainly get what you want from that communication.
What is this Tone of Voice?
The tone of Voice means not only your tempo but also the way you speak non-verbally. Body language, eye contact, the tempo of voice, tonality of voice are essential elements of communication that often “speaks” more powerfully than your actual words ever could. You can know if a person is happy, is giving you attention, love, care, concern or is just being polite even on a phone call. How? Because you can actually feel their genuine love and care or if they are just faking it.
Why is this Tone of Voice Important?
Big corporates, call centers, CEOs, Celebrities, are all trained in communication. Why? Because communication forms a big part of making the impression on the public. Whether they are selling something, sharing a story, acting, or even being raw, anything that is said in a true voice is often time appreciated. This is evidence of why this tone of voice is important.
How this Tone of Voice affects Relationships?
How many times in your relationship you have heard “But you never say you love me”; “I say that to you all the time”; “It doesn’t matter that you say that to me all the time, it’s how you say it, do you mean it?”; “I mean, come on! you can’t be seriously asking me this”.
In a relationship, there are two people and both of them are different, so will be their expression of love. But communication is the only key that makes it stronger and more open. When you want to communicate with your partner, always remember they are not you, understand what is it they are seeking from you and give it to them. It always comes back!
Controlling your tone of voice in your relationship will help you achieve more closeness and more intimacy than you can ever imagine because your tone of voice predicts the success of your relationship.
Let your tone be your best feature in your relationship
It’s easy to assume others will know what we are trying to say. This can actually raise issues and lead to situations where important feelings or emotions are not discussed.
Becoming aware of the words you use and the type of emotion you send when speaking is a powerful way to remain present when communicating with your partner. It’s in these moments of authenticity where barriers break down and you both can really share how you feel.
The importance of controlling your tone of voice in your relationship can’t be overstated. If you want to build extraordinary relationships, raise a healthy family and create deep, lasting connections, you must become aware of your tone of voice and how it affects your life, because it affects the life of people with who you communicate.
